There’s this quiet shift happening in me lately… and I don’t fully know how to explain it.
I’ve been noticing how I respond to things, especially the small, everyday moments that used to trigger me without a second thought. Now? I pause more. Sometimes I choose silence instead of speaking. Not because I don’t have anything to say; but because I know I do. And I know my words can be sharp if I let them.
So I’ve been choosing peace.
Can I ask you something?
Have you ever caught yourself reacting differently than you used to…and it made you pause for a second?
Like…“Wait…who am I becoming?”
But here’s the part I’ve been wrestling with…
Is that peace? Or am I avoiding something?
Because if I’m being honest, I’ve always leaned toward being non-confrontational. And now I’m starting to realize…that might not always serve me. There has to be a balance somewhere between saying too much and saying nothing at all. And I think I’m in the middle of learning that.
At the same time, I feel like everything around me is louder. Not literally, but energetically. It feels like I can sense when something is off. Like I’m picking up on tension, negativity, even in places that are supposed to feel safe, like my own home. And it’s overwhelming sometimes.
I catch myself thinking, “Why does it feel like so much is happening around me right now?” But then another thought follows…“What if it’s not everything around me…what if it’s me becoming more aware?” Because the truth is…I’m not responding the way I used to.
And if I’m being honest…
That thought alone made me stop for a second. Because what if nothing around me changed…and I just started seeing it differently?
Things that would’ve gotten a reaction out of me before? I move differently now. I think differently. I pause.
And sometimes, I don’t even recognize that version of me. But not in a bad way.
Pause with me for a second:
• Have you been responding differently lately?
• Choosing silence when you normally wouldn’t?
• Feeling more aware of everything around you?
Because if you have…you might be in this same space too.
In a “wait…who is this?” kind of way. In a “this might actually be growth” kind of way.
I don’t think we talk about this part enough…
The part where you’re not who you used to be…but you’re not fully who you’re becoming yet either.
That in-between space?
It’s uncomfortable… but it’s real.
I don’t have it all figured out. I’m still learning how to speak up without being harsh. How to protect my peace without disappearing. How to stay grounded when everything feels like a lot.
But I do know this: I’m changing. And even though it feels unfamiliar…
I think I’m becoming someone I needed all along.
If this felt like it was written for you…save this somewhere you can come back to.
And if you’re in this same season of change, I’d love to know…
What’s one way you’ve noticed yourself changing lately?